Why Telling a Girl She’s “Too Sensitive” Does More Harm Than You Think

Have you ever told a girl, “You’re overreacting,” or “You’re just too sensitive”—maybe with good intentions, hoping to help her toughen up?

You’re not alone. Many of us grew up hearing the same things. But here’s the truth:

Those words don’t build emotional strength.
They teach girls that their feelings are wrong.

   The Hidden Message Behind “Too Sensitive”

When a girl hears this phrase, she’s not just receiving feedback. She’s internalizing a message:

“My feelings are a problem.”
“I need to stop feeling so much.”
“Speaking up gets me shut down.”

What happens next?
She stops expressing herself. She questions her reactions. She may even learn to silence her intuition — all in the name of being “less sensitive.”

And over time, that emotional suppression doesn’t lead to confidence.
It leads to confusion, self-doubt, and disconnection.

   What the Research Says

Studies show that emotional invalidation (even when unintentional) can:

• Increase anxiety and depression in children

• Lower self-esteem

• Hinder emotional intelligence development

• Disrupt parent-child trust

Girls who are consistently told to “toughen up” or “get over it” often stop seeking emotional support — even when they need it most.

   What You Can Say Instead

It’s not about letting emotions run wild. It’s about guiding your daughter to understand, express, and regulate her emotions without shame.

Here are alternatives that create trust:

   Sensitivity Is Not a Weakness — It’s a Superpower

Let’s reframe sensitivity.

Girls who feel deeply often:

• Show incredible empathy

• Pick up on others’ emotions

• Are highly intuitive and observant

• Become powerful advocates, creators, and leaders

When we nurture sensitivity rather than dismiss it, we help raise emotionally intelligent, self-aware young women who trust themselves and feel safe in their skin.

   Tools That Support Emotional Expression

At HerTruSelf, we intentionally design resources that help girls:

• Understand emotions without judgment (like our Emotion Flaps)

• Name their feelings and let them go (like the Negative Emotion Pouch)

• Build daily self-awareness (through the Mirror of Self-Appreciation and I AM Scroll)

These tools don't just teach emotional intelligence — they help girls practice it, every single day.

   A Final Note for Parents & Caregivers

If you’ve ever said “too sensitive,” take a breath — this isn’t about blame. It’s about awareness.

Parenting is a journey of unlearning and relearning. What matters is the repair.

Try this:

“I realize I’ve said that before, and I want you to know your feelings matter to me. I’m learning too.”

That one sentence can open a door your daughter thought was closed.

   Let’s Raise Girls Who Feel and Heal

Being sensitive doesn’t make a girl fragile.
It makes her human.
And when that sensitivity is met with understanding, it becomes a strength she’ll carry for life.

 Explore the Emotional Intelligence Toolkit →
Let’s build a world where every girl knows:
Her feelings are valid. Her voice matters. And she is never “too much.”